PFM Confessional: sesheta speaks...True Love

this picture says so much about Tau's personality lmao

i may have always had a love affair with fashion and with color but my true love overshadows all those things. yes, there are things, rather people, that i love more.  my eldest son, Tau is one of these people.  he turned 14 today and, besides feeling overwhelmed by the idea of having  a full-fledged teenager, i am so proud to be his mommy.

Tau was born at a time when his dad and i were still finding out who we were; it was all around trial and error.  i read all the books you were supposed to in order to prepare for parenthood but any parent can tell you that all your questions never make it in the book.  so much about parenting is intuition and boundaries.  you have to know where you stand when it comes to any issue and then be willing to throw that out the window and revise it in a heartbeat.   though it is my most challenging role, it is also the most fulfilling.  being mom to Tau has taught me things that only he could teach me.  shoot... i am still learning as we speak! my biggest claim to fame was that, despite all of the mistakes that we have made, Tau is still alive and growing lol.  he is growing right before my eyes.  the scary part is that a lot of who he will be has already been formulated; the ground work has been already laid.  we have to hope that we have given him all the tools he will need to become the man he will be.  ... jeez, no pressure...  i know that we can dwell on all the things that we should have done differently, but there is a lot that we have done right.  Tau is a bright, funny, intelligent young man who is just stretching his wings.  now we have to be strong enough to let him fly.

happy earthday, Tau!!

PFM Confessional: sesheta speaks....inspiration- the sun

the warm weather of the past week has truly inspired me.  i literally feel like it is warming my creative energy.  i am in the midst of designing a piece for my spiritual sister and the sun has played a major role in where my i draw my inspiration.  it makes sense that today, Sunday, would be the day for this post.  as i wait for the clear message of what to create to come through, i am just appreciating the energy of the sun.  i feel like i am a young(er) girl who has been struck by spring fever.  the last thing i want to do is be stuck indoors or behind a computer.  alas, i am not always able to escape the former or the latter, but it does make me feel good either way to know that there is a warm sun shining.  the early appearance of spring has made me excited for the new season and for all the gifts that spring brings.

photo courtesy of Pictures of the Sun

PFM Confessional: sesheta speaks - going with the flow

...time out of time

one with the sublime

Beauty of this place

time flows past

yet leaves not a trace...
poem & painting
©2005 Mara Berendt Friedman

today i was reminded of an important lesson:  though you have a plan for yourself in life, life sometimes has a different (sometimes conflicting) plan for you.  though the reminder was very minor (and not too traumatic), the message was still strong.  

i wear a lot of hats in my life - designer, mother, wife, daughter, employee, sister, friend (any of these roles sound familiar to you?).  i usually wear two or more hats at once.  then there are the occasional times when situations dictate what hat has to be worn  today the "Mom" hat took precedence.  i had my mind wrapped around getting through my day one way and then when i got that call, everything else had to be pushed aside.  the call about my son came in and because he wasn't ill (he just needed support from his mom), honestly, i was annoyed that i had to leave work to go tend to him.  leaving meant missing a fun event that was happening! do i wonder if that makes me a bad parent? no... because i know i did the right thing.  as i arrived at my son's school and had a chance to help him, he turned to me and said, "Thanks, Mom".  those are the words you drill in them so that children learn to be grateful but when the words come back at you with genuine earnest and appreciation... there is nothing better in the world.  

 my angst at changing up my routine to be by my son's side quickly subsided.  it definitely didn't hurt that he had melted any ounce of annoyance that may have been lingering by being grateful. either way, i had time for reflection and it only takes a little reevaluation to realize that being there for your loved ones is the only thing that life is really truly about.  i am thankful that i was able to be aware of that and able to get to him when he needed me.  

PFM Confessional: sesheta speaks... inspiration

if one picture is worth a thousand words, then five pictures are worth five thousand.  i've borrowed some images to share my inspiration for the pieces i've been designing and creating.  i'll be sure to post the finished products! enjoy and hope they serve as inspiration to you too...

nature

sparkle

love

neon

wild

PFM Confessional: sesheta speaks - true love

Heart of My Heart - photo courtesy of New Moon Visions

u may have noticed that i missed posting on Thursday, 2/2.  yes, it completely slipped my mind that it was my day to post.  sometimes i get too caught up actually living life that i forget to write about it, lol.  it wasn't just an average busy day though; Thursday i celebrated being married for 14 years.

believe it or not, i am actually very quiet about my personal life.  i've never been big on posting blow by blow details on Facebook or Twitter or anywhere for that matter.  ...but then there comes a time when you have to share with the world and this is definitely one of those times.  my hubby and i started out on our journey together at a time when all the factors around us told us that it was never gonna work.  despite what the world tried to tell us, we dove in feet first.  with the support of our families and the blessing from the Most High, fourteen years later, we are still standing.  i don't consider that an easy feat, especially when there are marriages around us, younger and older than ours, failing everyday.  i am proud of us - for having grown together instead of growing apart; for making it through life's tests thus far; for continuing to hold on and, as a result, our love is stronger because of it.  

though i have no idea what tomorrow holds, i can say i know what it is to truly be loved and to love someone else fully.  ...and there is nothing more satisfying.  i wish this kind of love for you too. 

PFM Confessional: sesheta speaks...transformation

~ poem on back of card ~

gather sisters, brothers, seekers and friends
in sacred circle where this world ends
between the worlds let us pray and sing
and wait for visions Great Spirit will bring

photo and poem courtesy of New Moon Visions

i have been a fan of the artist Mara Berendt Friedman for years.  i used to find her cards at East West bookstore in the village years ago.  i love her female centered images and community focused messages.  when i need an image that inspires a certain frame of mind i'm in, her artwork is first to come to mind. 

this image is entitled, "Green Butterfly of Transformation".  i have been thinking about transformation a lot lately.  it's hard not to crave change when life seems to be hard for so many different people.  it has me concerned that a better way isn't directly in sight.  this is what has me thinking... what if life doesn't get easier?  my minor complaints are so trivial when i look at the situations of others but it is definitely all relative.  life is just hard.  ... so if life is focused on being hard, i have realized that my job is to be focused on enjoying (despite it all) more.  i feel like it is totally now or never.  if i don't make an effort now, maybe i never will.  i have no guarantee that my efforts will succeed or fail but, either way, at least i can have one heck of a ride to share with the generations to come after me.  

 getting stuck in the muck and mire of life can cause temporary amnesia; it causes us to forget that we don't have to stay there.  we have been blessed with the choice to do something different even if it is only in some small way.  i didn't really think i had any new year resolutions for 2012 but now i think otherwise.  my goal is to enjoy life and be re-inspired by her beauty.  i'm really looking forward to the new perspective this will all bring!

PFM Confessional: sesheta speaks - "If I had only one wish..."

photo courtesy of  http://idesigniphone.com/peace-typography

As we all dash around trying to find the perfect gifts and spending money we don't have, it's hard to remember the purpose of the season.  Well, I'd like to take the time to be still enough to thank you for reading our blog and keeping up with what interests two girls in a material world.  Though it brings us joy to post, it really wouldn't matter if you didn't care to read it!

If I had one only one wish, I wish you peace today, through the holidays and into the new year!  Have fun spending time with your families!

much luv,

sesheta

PFM Confessional: sesheta speaks

i think of the PFM confessional as the platform, similar to the time on reality shows where the characters commentate on the scenes that are happening, where becca and and i can give a little more insight as to who and what we are - as designers and people.

that being said, i watched the show "Hoarders" for the first time tonite.  all i can say is OMFG (had to add an expletive in there).  i know that i am an extra sensitive person but this show really struck a chord with me.  witnessing the degree to which people will let their quality of life degrade is literally painful.  don't get me wrong, i totally get that this becomes a sickness for these individuals.  triggered by loss, sickness, depression, etc., either way, hoarding is definitely a dis-ease.  honestly, for me, it is downright scary to see how far some people let it go.  i think what rings so clear for me is my identification with having an affinity for "things".  i like so many different types of things and have also been overtaken by the need to have certain things (more often than i'd like to admit)but i have been blessed with some degree of discipline.  it seems like the people affected by hoarding at some point or another decide to give up.  they become so overwhelmed by life and situations, that taking the next step is too great to conceive.  watching this show leaves me with mixed feelings.  on one hand, i am saddened by what i've seen.  while i understand that this is a real sickness, it highlights the level of wealth that we have in this country and the fact that so many of us take that for granted.  there are people who don't have homes and/or don't know when they will have their next meal -- in America and in other countries. on the other hand, i am so glad that there are people like the "Hoarders" cast who are willing to go in and assist these people with re-claiming their lives.   i also applaud all the individuals documented for being able to take that first step.  all in all, i am left with a new found appreciation of how blessed i am to have all that i have.  i know that in an instant it can all be taken away, as many have experienced due to Hurricane Irene.  the good thing is that, while things are fun to have and obtain, i know that i am not defined by material things.  what about you? - sesheta